Hold Me So I Don't Break
by steepedinshadows419
Summary: 5x12 - Barry returns to an emotional Iris, who is in tears after Nora's apology. Smut. Barry/Iris. One-shot.


**A/N:** This idea called to me after how emotional Iris was throughout this entire ep and how she kept holding it in. Plus, they never had her break down about Barry disappearing. I didn't have a full-blown thing, because I'm sure they'll have a scene of that nature in 6a (they better!), but they shouldn't be waiting a full year for that kind of convo imo. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Lots of love, hurt/comfort, and smut! Some would say...the best kind of story. ;)

*****Many thanks to **sendtherain** for beta'ing.

*****I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

The apology was heartfelt, warm, and made Iris feel closer to her daughter than ever. Yet, as the two of them emptied boxes and proceeded to set items in various parts of the room, Iris couldn't help but feel an aching in her chest for the part of Nora's apology that served as a reminder of what was to come for Iris barely five years from now.

_"You guys had a whole life together, and a child, and…he vanished. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you."_

"Mom?" Nora's hand came to rest on her shoulder. "Mom."

Iris started, then turned to look at her daughter, suddenly breathless.

"I…um…" She licked her lips, trying to get her bearings, her heart being torn apart from the inside.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she said, though the tears welling up in her eyes said otherwise. "I just…" She cleared her throat. "I forgot to tell your dad something. I'll be right back."

She felt Nora's concerned gaze on her as she left the office, but she walked down the hall and kept going until she reached a window and could see something besides the bland walls closing in on her. With trembling fingers, she found Barry's name in her contact list and called him.

"Hey, Iris, what's up?" he asked, picking up on the first ring.

It took her a moment to remind herself to speak. _He's alive_.

"Hi, Bear, I um-" She lost her voice, then cleared her throat. "Could you, uh, could you come back for a second?"

The words had barely left her mouth before he was standing in front of her again, sending waves of relief over her as his nearness to her was reaffirmed. _He's alive. He's okay. He's here with you._

"What's wrong?" he asked, running his hands down her arms. "Is Nora okay?" He glanced down the hall in the direction of her office.

Iris blinked and nodded, forcing herself to engage in conversation.

"Yeah, yeah, Nora's fine. Better than fine actually. She apologized to me for everything, so we're…we're really good right now."

"That's great." His lips twitched at the corner, but the troubled look on her face made him frown again. "So, what's wrong?"

"Barry, I-"

She lost her voice again. She couldn't speak, and she hated it. Her eyes filled with tears again, and she couldn't say a thing as he wiped them away and pleaded with her to tell him what the matter was.

Finally, she looked up at him, saw her own desperation reflected on his face and knew only one way to get across what she was feeling. She leapt up onto her toes, wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, and latched her lips onto his in a passionate kiss.

Barry was understandably startled for a moment, but when his wife pulled him with her against the wall, he went willingly, kissing her back just as fiercely, pressing into the wall with one hand and caressing her body with the other. Iris moaned and arched up into him, more tears seeping out of her closed lids, but ones of relief. More than when he'd first showed up, because now they were touching each other so intimately. She could feel his hands and his lips and his breath. She could practically hear his heartbeat hammering away inside his chest, reminding her how alive and present he was with her.

They broke away when air became a necessity. Iris' fingers dug into the collar of his shirt; her forehead pressed to his as he gently squeezed her side beneath her jacket.

"What's going on, Iris?" he asked in a whisper, not a hint of teasing or prying. He was just mystified.

She swallowed and licked her lips, debating whether to confide what had suddenly driven her need for passion.

"I just need you, Barry."

She pulled away enough to look up into his eyes, treasuring his hand sifting through her curls. There were so many questions in his eyes, and she knew she would have to answer them eventually.

"I need to know that you're alive."

She ran her hands over his chest till one landed over his heart. He covered one hand over hers.

"It's still beating, Iris."

She met his eyes again, tears filling her own once more.

"I'm _right here_," he said softly, now holding both her hands on his chest gently but firmly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Not now," she said, looking away. "But in a few years…"

He stilled.

"Barry, I'm gonna _lose_ you."

Her voice was incredibly quiet, hushed. She added nothing about worrying how she'd raise Nora as a single mother, so Barry couldn't contradict her self-recriminations. She'd left him with only the blatant fact that he'd leave her, presumably never to return.

"The future's already changing," he tried, though he knew it was weak.

"We have a whole life together," she said. "You're my _best friend_. Nora will be a baby, and you-"

He pulled her in and held her as she cried.

They hadn't talked about it. It was too painful to talk about, especially with it being so many years away, but he knew it was long overdue. Maybe the future could be changed. Because of course he wanted his happily ever after with his two girls. But he also firmly believed what he'd told Nora at Thanksgiving, that he'd still sacrifice himself at that future point if it meant saving not only the city, but the two people most important to him. For them, he'd give anything, even his life.

He couldn't lie to Iris and say it wouldn't happen, but to tell her it definitely _would_ in this moment felt too cruel to even contemplate.

"N-No," she said, suddenly pulling away.

His eyes went wide as hers blazed, and he tensed for whatever would happen next.

She yanked him down to her and kissed him hard, thrusting her tongue his mouth and biting at his lip as she ran her nail over his scalp and down the back of his neck, spreading her hands down his spine to push the open green button-down over his shoulders.

"I-Iris," he moaned, shuddering when his shirt landed on the floor and she slid her hands beneath his t-shirt. "Iris, shouldn't we-"

She quickly rid herself of her jacket and latched onto his lips again.

"Shut up," she ordered between kisses, but as the need to feel his bare skin against hers grew stronger, she knew they could not continue to do this in the middle of the hallway.

She pulled back and rested her head against the wall, breathing heavily. Barry was braced over her, breathing just as hard, trying to keep from falling over.

"Is one of these offices…empty?" she asked, licking her lips.

He laughed, amused. "You expect me to just-"

Iris raised an eyebrow, and he nodded once, telling himself he shouldn't have been surprised.

"Right."

It took no more than a few seconds for Barry to phase in and out of all the offices on that floor until he found one that was vacant. As soon as he did, he grabbed Iris and phased her into the room with him. He turned on the light, so it wouldn't be quite so dark, though there was a window facing the back alley on the far side of the room.

Iris looked around and walked to the window. She saw no one outside, but she lowered the blinds anyway and turned back to her husband who took the hint and turned the light back off. There wasn't any furniture in the room except for a desk left behind by the previous tenant. It was in the middle of the room, so Iris stopped there set her hand on its surface to test her durability and then glanced over at the thoroughly aroused man watching her with a hunger possibly rivaling her own.

"Yeah, okay."

He came to her, lifting her onto the desk and kissing her madly. He yanked her dress down, covering every inch of skin with his lips and hands. The bulge of his erection came into contact with her through his pants quickly and often.

"Barry," she whined, and tugged at his hair.

She unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants and pushed them down over his legs till they hit the floor with a clunk. She shoved his boxers down after and pumped his cock a few times before pulling him closer and wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Fuck, Iris."

He shuddered, slid his hand beneath the skirt of her dress and squeezing her ass cheeks before lightly hitting one as he nibbled at her collar bone and swirled his tongue around one nipple and then the other, bringing both to a solid point with the slight twisting of his fingers.

"Oh, my God, _Barry_," she cried out, gasping when his fingers moved from her nipple to beneath the lacy underwear she donned and into her wet folds.

Her legs tightened around him as his fingers pumped in and out of her, then his thumb vibrated around her clit in circular motions, driving her near the edge. She was clawing at his back, seconds from her climax, when he suddenly pulled out and replaced his fingers with his cock, sending shockwaves over her entire body. She felt alive, on fire, electric.

Then quite suddenly, she realized time had slowed. She opened her eyes to look around her and saw the slow-moving lightning paired only with the Flash hovering around them, encircling them with some sort of protection, encasing this moment in time and drawing it out for as long as they wished. As long as she wished.

He'd brought her into Flash time.

"Barry, I…" He met her eyes, and she lost her voice.

Clinging tightly to him, she was spellbound. Her gaze never leaving his, she let him have her way with her, thrusting in and out, vibrating, pushing her to a higher level of pleasure than she'd ever known, making her crazy with desire. She reached her climax what felt like an eternity later, but her orgasm went on for even longer, making her near delirious, especially when halfway through, his own climax was triggered, and their shared ecstasy lasted as long as they could stand it.

Finally, Barry brought them out of it, miraculously not falling on top of her, as their bodies relaxed into a satiated state. Breathing heavily, neither would let go of the other or even move.

"Are you okay now?" he asked finally, his breath hot against her neck.

"Do you have to go?" she asked. "To meet up with Cisco?"

"Only if you're okay," he said, disregarding the fact that she likely had to return to Nora before their daughter found them in a very compromising position.

She sighed softly. "I'm okay."

"Iri-"

She lifted her head and pressed her lips to his quickly to silence him.

"I'm okay," she repeated with a gentle smile. "Really."

His nod was reluctant, as was moving away from her so they could get dressed again, but in due time they got themselves together again and headed for the door.

"Barry-" She reached for his hand just as his reached for the doorknob.

"Yeah?" He asked, spinning around quickly.

Her heart skipped a beat. How would she ever live without him?

"Thank you," she said, and he relaxed, returning to her for a last, lingering kiss.

"Of course."

Their fingers intertwined, they moved as one as Barry turned the doorknob and walked them out into the hall, shutting the door behind them and assuring it was still locked from the outside.

"You're going to be okay?" he asked just before they parted ways.

"I will." She smiled assuredly.

He did his best to return the smile. "I'll see you at home then."

"With bells on," she teased, then winked just before heading in the opposite direction.

As he watched her walk down the hall to her office and heard her brush off her sudden and extended disappearance to their daughter, he knew the conversation about his future disappearance was far from over. But for now, he was content.

They were okay. She was okay. And every moment spent alone with her going forward he would use as a reminder that she was his reason for living, she and Nora were, and only when pushed to the absolute brink would he ever be parted from them.


End file.
